A thought have occur to me that people in this modern day, spending time worrying about how to live their lives and not enough thought on how they going to exit this world. Thats right I'm talking about death and funeral, majority of people out there really got it bad when it comes to perception of death. Its kind of ironic to me that many people out there running around their tails, chasing the shits they don't need and trying to pretend that loving relationship could last forever. Snap! One day your white collar ass is over by a head on collision or bird flu and all you got is a lousy funeral, which pretty much drain half of your saving away if you don't have a life insurance. Not to worry the other remaining half of the saving your spouse or your regular stripper girlfriend would be more than happy to swindle it all away. Anyhow not long ago, I had a brief discussion of how I would prepare my pre-launch party of the afterlife when my demise will catch up with me one day. For me I already have entrusted my funeral procedure with one of my top 8 friends and trust me you don't want to miss it when the time comes.
Well if you're also not a fan of the traditional burial where you have to wait for J.C. second coming to wake up your rotten body, here is the savvy options that would be more interesting than shooting your ashes into space and ensure your legacy for all postpone second coming of Christ !
"No you can't play with my tail"
GO YOU OWN WAY
FREEZE-DRYING
Process: Swedish company Promessa Organic will crystallize your corpse in liquid nitrogen, vacuum away the ice, and sub-sonically vibrate your remain into powder. Then your remaining dust will be mix cornstarch. These will be bury under a bush, give it a year and youre a certify compost !
Result: Good for the mother earth, a repayment of your SUV gas guzzling lifestyle and VDs giving in the previous life.
Pro: You're finally did the nature some good.
Cons: Worm done the same job but a bit slower.
For more info. www.promessa.se
Process: Since the DNA of any two human is 99.99 percent identical, only a small amount make you unique. So two nut case scientists have a scheme to embed your unique bits of gene into a cell of a tree as noncoding DNA.
Result: Your genetic code will be carry on as long as the life of the tree, laying dormant.
Pro: Imagine you plus the cannabis tree, giving a new meaning to "smoke me baby !"
Con: The tweak tree could be considered a genetically modified organism facing regulations. Imagine evil killer plant out of The Day of Triffids
For more Info: http://www.biopresence.com/
Process: You know diamonds are forever, plus they are girl's best friend for the most part so here is your only chance to be both ! After a traditional cremation, ship your dust to Life Gem, the company will turn your remaining carbon into graphite and baked your ass for about 6 months literally. With lots of heat and pressure (over 1.6 million PSI), the carbon realign into diamond wolla !
Result: you become 10 1carat for all your ex stripper girlfriends.
Pro: you become indestructible and girls love to have you around at all time, something you could not do when you were alive.
Con: You become a theft target and pawnshop hustlers.
For more info http://www.lifegem.com/
MAD Scientist Cryonics
Process: First of this is probably would cost more than all the funeral process available, Cryonics is the preservation of legally dead humans or pets at very low temperature.
Result:You become a meat Popsicle
Pro: all you remain will be permanently well preserve as long as there is liquid nitrogen and electricity.
Con: Eternal frost bite
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