Guide for a good Panda Chasing in Thailand

Today Ive received a message from Mr. Nasty Raps

So check this out. One of the guys I work with goes to Bangkok a few times every year. He ended up getting an apt for his girls there, and has now married one of them! He's in the process of getting her over here. Is that shit normal? Is it that good over there? Is that like her hitting the lottery?

Another guy here just booked a ticket there for this fall. Any advice for him? Say something that leads him not to marry a Thai prostitute.

Let me know
Nasty

Well when the subject from the land of the smile show up why I'm always been appointed to be an expert about the Thai contemporary culture? I can assure you that I would not be the ultimate source on anything Thai. However I'm confident that throughout the time that I have been hanging out with a few Robin hoods here in D town throughout 15 plus years I have accumulated enough knowledge on the inner working of the modern Thai social behavior through the eyes of an Asian Thai, me. On this particular topic of intercontinental Panda Chasing I do feel certain obligation to prevent my fellow American Panda Chaser from falling victim to rent a girlfriend. To Mr. Nasty Raps defense I really do believe there are certain group of American men often falls madly in love with the first Thai girl they meet - even if she's a rough street prostitute who doesn't speak English. Love-sick farang men are queuing up at the altar to tie the knot with their dubious Thai girls, which can lead to VDs, paying for her green card to pursue her own pleasurable entrepreneurship, or lost of entire life saving. If you don't want to believe me, statistically when normal couple marries with the best intentions, the chances of success are barely 50/50. Mixed race marriages are even more fragile. Throw a Thai con-woman into the mix and your misery is guaranteed. If she is an ex-hooker, the divorce courts won't reproach her for fucking your friends, neighbors and teenage sons either.

Kirk Sato's guide for a good Panda Chasing in Thailand

10. Never pickup a college student that hangout around RCA and Pat Pong on a school night. Common you know why they are there for a reason.

9. Massage parlor and Go-Go bar is not a productive dating place no matter how

drunk and delusional you might be.

8. Do prepare that more then likely youre making way more money then her because I don't need to remind you that its still a third world nation. So prepare to pay up on the dates. However, if you noticed how often she talks about her financial problems. If you didn't get the hint, she will have to ask you for money more bluntly. So bail!

7. If she got an expensive cell and it rings constantly chances are its her Gig calling. (Thai Slang for fuck buddies) Thai girls do not have close male friends - western or Thai - only suitors and punters.

6. Fluent colloquial English is a bad sign. If she understands "get your kit off" but not "balance of payments deficit" then she probably learned it between the love making sessions. Ordinary Thais do not speak English well. However the upper class is extremely well adapt to the linguistic set of American Urban Language.

5. Your girl may be plausible for a Virgin Mary but her friends might give the game away. If her girlfriends drink, smoke, play pool, have tattoos or just seem a bit rough then they are hookers and so too is your girl.

4. Many guys seem to leave their brain behind when they go to Thailand. The media loves to stereotype the daft old git who believes that a stunning Thai babe is crazy for him. So know thy ugly ass self be true.

3. Do not succumb to the White Knight Syndrome, no matter how lonely, kind-hearted person you are. Arriving in Bangkok with plenty of damsels apparently in distress to choose from. It is a false belief that hookers want to be saved, they all have enough money to save themselves.

2. Thai girls differ from their respectable western sisters only in their approachability, sunny disposition, striking good looks and devious nature. They are similar in that they enjoy casual sex with the best looking guy they can find.

1. A sincere, marriage-minded man should avoid hookers at all costs.

For a complete definitive guide to anything Thai without the bullshit tourism bias go to www.mangosauce.com

Disclaimer Of all women I ever been with Asians, Blondies, Bonitas, and Brown Sugars the woman that ever loved me the most happen to be a Thai woman.